Dauntless Infinity
by factionofagirl
Summary: An AU story in which Tris and Tobias have the slight personality changes and ailments of Hazel and Gus
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hey everybody! This is an AU story where Tris and Tobias deal with the health issues of Gus and Hazel. Some of the events in both books may still occur while others are omitted or changed. I don't own either of the books or their characters. Enjoy!**_

I stand with the knife to cut across my palm with it as I watch my blood boil onto the coals. My name is Beatrice Grace Prior and I have just become Dauntless. I'm sad to leave my parents as they are basically my best friends but I want this. I want adventure. I want to be brave and learn how to live without fear for however much time I have to live.

That's the thing about time. I've borrowed it. You see, three years ago, when I was thirteen, I was diagnosed in Erudite with thyroid cancer that has now spread to my lungs. Things were shaky for a while but then I started taking the magical pill of Phalanxifor. The doctors determined that while it's not a cure, which has never been a part of my treatment goal, the drug could stop the growth and add time to my life.

This isn't a cancer story though because those are boring and depressing. Instead, this is a love story and the story of how I decided to live the rest of my life.

After the choosing ceremony ends, I follow the crowd up the stairs and run alongside them. They blend together to form what looks like a black cloud. I make it up the stairs before I have to adjust the prongs in my nose and catch my breath as the other jump on.

I place my oxygen tank which I call Philip, onto the train first as best I can before I jump and land on my face. A girl dressed in Candor clothing greets me as we introduce ourselves to each other. We both afraid to jump as we reach Dauntless headquarters so I hold one of her hands and jump, landing relatively unscathed.

A Dauntless leader who introduces himself as Max invites us to jump. I climb to the edge of the room, hands wrapped around Philip, as I close my eyes and jump. I feel my body floating through the air and land onto a net that cradles my body.

I laugh hysterically as I catch my breath for a moment when a hand reaches out to me. I grab it and pull myself off the net. I peer into the most gorgeous blue eyes I have ever seen as he asks "What's your name?"

I hesitate for a moment as he adds "Choose carefully, you don't get to pick again." I decide on Tris as he leads me inside and welcomes me to Dauntless. I change into black clothing like everyone else does and switch to a tank that fits onto my back as we head to dinner.

I notice that everyone seems to be eating circular pieces of meat they call a hamburger but I don't eat meat so I eat some potatoes cut into rectangular pieces they call fries into some red, tomato sauce they call ketchup.

I'm seated directly from our instructor who calls himself Four. He looks at me with an eyebrow raised. "No meat?" he asks me curiously and I shake my head no. "I don't eat meat, I don't want to be responsible for killing or anything dying because of me." I answer with a smirk that I think he chuckles slightly at.

We're expected to be in the training room tomorrow morning at 8 AM and I am tired so I decide to unhook myself from Philip to the BiPap machine and oxygen concentrator that my parents arranged to be here a couple days ago.

Trying to sleep in a room full of people proves difficult especially as Al, one of the other initiates here, sobs loudly throughout the night. After a quick breakfast, I make sure to strap a smaller version of Philip to my back as Four demonstrates how to shoot a gun.

The weight of the gun feels strange and heavy in my hand. I hold it awkwardly at first but adjust quickly and manage to hit the target before lunch. We go through a line to choose what we want during lunch so I pick noodles in a cheese sauce called macaroni and cheese, a small salad and a piece of cake.

The food here is delicious and definitely different from what we eat at home in Abnegation. The cake is my favorite part though and I find myself guarding it against another initiate with dark skin and a handsome face known as Uriah.

After lunch, we watch Four as he demonstrates some of the fighting techniques we may need to use tomorrow for our first round of fights. I notice during one of the kicks he demonstrates that his pant moves up to reveal metal instead of skin. How did I not notice it before?

Soon after he finishes, a blonde man with a pierced eyebrow and lip enters the room. His name is Eric and I remember meeting him briefly at dinner last night. I move to one of the punching bags around the room and punch until my knuckles are split.

I feel Four's eyes on me as well as Eric's. He surprises me by putting an arm around my stomach as he says in a low, deep voice "You don't have much muscle so you're better off using your knees and elbows to attack and put more power behind them. Always keep tension here." he finishes, releasing my stomach.

Christina drags me into the Pit later that night as we are joined by Al and Will to get tattoos. I decide to get three stars falling away from my heart tattooed near my collarbone. It stings but it's nothing compared to the other pains I've been through.

Christina has me try a short cut black dress that shows off my stars and dawns my face with black eyeliner that makes my eyes pop. "Why did you get stars?" she asks. "Stars are infinite and forever, I wanted my family and my life to be like that." I answer.

"Well, aren't you the little philosopher?" she teases before dragging me to buy the dress and eyeliner before we head back to the dorms for the night.


	2. Chapter 2

Tris' POV

I gulp the next morning when I see I am required to fight Peter the next morning. For a Candor, he's strong and I know he won't go down easy. Will and Al step into the ring first where Al goes down easily. Peter and I are next.

Four grabs my arm before I step into the ring and whispers "You can do this! Punch first to his throat. He steps before he punches." I nod, eyes wide with fear and adrenaline coursing through me.

I try to punch to his throat first but he dodges me and pulls my feet out from under me. He punches my side as I see Four leave the room. I try to stay on my feet as much as possible. Peter goes to work punching my stomach which causes me to stumble backwards a few steps.

Blood drips out of my nose as he hits my face and nose. The tubing for Philip comes out of my nose and I try to fix it but it's no use. Black spots and a spinning room fill my vision as I try desperately to keep myself awake and upright.

I can't get enough air and feel weak as I fall and everything goes black.

I hear others' voice as I lay on the floor outside the training room. My hand reaches to my nose to ensure the tubing is there. Christina, Will and Four stand around me as I try to rise but I am weak and fall back down.

Four gently places an arm around my neck and legs as he begins to carry me. He makes sure Philip is strapped to my side as he carries me to the infirmary. The dizziness makes everything sway. He stares deeply into my eyes as he says "Tris. I need you to stay with me."

"Why did you leave me?" I croak, feeling a pounding in my head. "It wasn't something I wanted to watch. You were unconscious when I came back in so we took you outside with your oxygen and waited for you to wake up."

My eyes feel heavy as we approach the infirmary and I murmur to him "I'm sorry. I'm so tired." before the darkness overtakes me again.

When I wake, I'm lying in a hospital bed connected to an IV and an oxygen concentrator surrounded by Christina, Will and Al. "What happened to your face?" I ask Christina who laughs while answering "Molly but you should be the one talking."

"Well, I already sort of know what happened to mine. Who did you fight?" I ask even as my face feels swollen and whatever medicine I'm getting is making it hard to think and talk, anything really.

"Molly." she answers as I see her cheeks begin to flush. "While you were out, Eric made me fight her and I said I was done so he made me dangle over the chasm for five minutes." she tells me and I gasp in shock.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there." I whisper and she says it's fine as if I had been, I might have ended up dangling there with her. Everyone rushes out for dinner and I decide to lay there for a few more hours but I slowly slip out during the night and head back to the dorms.

I'm determined to not let Peter win.. I will not be seen as the sick little girl with cancer. I've been that way for years and I am not willing to continue to be seen that way. I'm awoken to someone shaking me awake the next morning, I look up to find Christina telling me we have to get up and board the train in about five minutes which jolts me awake.

She helps me tie my shoes as I switch from the oxygen concentrator to a smaller oxygen tank I strap to my back. I eat a muffin she offers me as we walk to where the others are. I file into the train easily as Peter, Drew, and Molly begin teasing me about yesterday.

"How are you feeling now, Beatrice? Are you all right or are you a little stiff?" Peter taunts but Four eventually stops everyone, not wanting to hear us bicker. I find myself staring at his well-defined muscles as the train continues moving along.

I find myself also realizing something unnatural about his right leg, the way he moves it and hold it. It's only then that I see near his ankle metal. I'm not sure how I missed it before, but I recognize that he is an amputee then.

How did it happen? When? I'm deep in thought as I am interrupted by Four yelling for all of us to jump. I land on my feet as we follow Four as he explains about being a fence guard and how if you rank low in initiation you might end up here.

As he speaks, I feel something risk from inside me: Determination, the inability to accept my fate and the drive I have to change that. When the others have dispersed, Four wanders over to me. "Hey. How are you?" he asks while gently tracing the bruises on my face.

Something about him makes my heart race and words to cease, I breathe and answer "Fine." softly. "You took quite the beating yesterday, I had to leave the room as I couldn't watch you get hurt." he whispers as I see the pain and hurt in his eyes.

We leave silently and take the train back to Dauntless. There are so many questions I want to ask him, but can't. Or I could but I feel nervous to ask them. He also makes me feel something I haven't before but can't seem to name. There's something about him that makes me feel strong, yet makes me nervous.

Is this what having a crush feels like? I can't be falling for him especially not as initiate. I've vowed for years not to put other people than necessary through the heartache I am sure to cause. I won't, I forbid it but will it be enough?


	3. Chapter 3

Tris' POV

Two nights later we're awoken by Eric for another field trip. We have five minutes to get dressed and meet him at the train tracks. Luckily, I chose to sleep fully clothed so I just have to put on a jacket and an oxygen tank.

Once we board the train, Four announces we are going to play a game called Capture the Flag which is a Dauntless tradition. I am chosen for his team though I don't know why and we all take paintball guns. Uriah directs everyone to hide our flag in Navy Pier and everyone else bickers back and forth about what our strategy should be.

I glance at a nearby rusted ferris wheel and walk slowly over to it. I begin climbing with my gun and oxygen tank slung around my back. I hold my breath as I grasp the first rung of the ladder and continue on.

I feel someone behind me and hear a familiar voice ask "What are you doing, Tris?" and see Four behind me. "I don't think I'm doing anything, I'm trying to climb higher to find the other team's flag." I answer bitterly, not wanting him to need to follow me or see me as weak.

"You can go now, I'll be fine and don't need help." I hiss as I continue climbing. "Of course, but I'm coming with you." he retorts. "Why?" I ask. "Because I want to and okay, I like spending time with you." he admits and I laugh.

We climb together silently until we reach the top then sit together for a moment as we catch our breath together. I can't see the other team's flag though so I continue climbing when I notice Four breathing heavily.

"Are you afraid of heights?" I ask, noticing his eyes are filled with panic. "Yes, I don't enjoy them. How are you not with being this high?" he questions me and I giggle. "Well, when you've been fighting just to stay alive, you can either live afraid or fearless. I choose the latter obviously." I smirk.

"There it is!" I cry out while pointing out where the flag is. "Stat climbing down, I'll follow you." I order and he nods. The rest of our time together is silent until we join the rest of the team and tell them where we found the flag. Everyone races to grab the flag and soon, our team is crying victory.

I feel limitless in the moment like anything could happen. It's a great feeling that I haven't experienced in years, maybe I am meant to be a Dauntless after all.

The next morning as we enter the training room, there's a feeling of tension in the room. Eric looks frustrated to have lost last night, but I don't have much time to think about it as we're ordered to begin knife throwing.

As with learning to shoot a gun, there's something powerful about controlling an object that can inflict damage. My first attempt isn't perfect, but it's the first to hit the target. After an hour, everyone has hit the target at least once except for Al.

The way Eric looks at him makes my skin crawl and I have a feeling of impending doom. I already know that Eric is capable of unspeakable cruelty and the look in his eye causes me to fear this. He orders Al to go get his knives while everyone else continues throwing and Al refuses.

Instead, Eric tells Al to stand in front of the target while Four throws knives at him without flinching. This isn't good. Four tries to reason with Eric, but he's overruled as Eric is a leader and Four is not.

It makes my blood boil, I don't see the point of this other than Eric showing his authority and I will not follow that. Before I can stop myself, I yell out "Stop! Anyone can stand in front of a target but it doesn't prove anything other than that you're bullying us which is a sign of cowardice and you're not a coward, are you Eric?" I spit.

"Well, if you're so willing to stop me, you'll take his place." Eric answers and I want nothing more than to stop him so I nod, reposition my oxygen tank, and stand in front of the target prepared. Four looks at me shocked as he reminds me not to flinch as otherwise Al would take my place.

I give Four a deadly stare in the eye as he throws the knives and an even harsher one as the last knife knicks my ear. When everyone has left the room, I move over towards him. "You cut me!" I shout. "I meant to. You think Eric would have let you go without a scratch? I'd still be throwing otherwise." he replies.

I nod, frustrated as I wipe the blood from my ear. "If I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would have?" he asks, driving a knife into the table and storming out of the room. I stand thinking about the answer to his question.

The way he's acting towards me is definitely puzzling. At one moment, helping me and at the other, participating in my torture. I give up trying to figure him out for now as I join Christina back at the dorm.

She decides to take me shopping and make me over which I agree to try at least once. I'm dressed in a black V-neck dress paired with black eyeliner and pale lipstick. It does make me look attractive instead of the puffy face and pale skin I'm used to.

Maybe change can be a good thing, I want to be here. For the first time, I feel like I may in fact belong here. I'm not fearless as I told Four, but I choose to try not to be afraid of life because otherwise, what is the point of life? To live in fear is to not live at all.


End file.
